You Can Pursue Him, But You Can’t Chase Him

There’s a difference between pursuing someone you’re interested in dating and chasing after someone who isn’t interested in you.

You’re allowed to make the first move, send the first text, plan the first date, initiate the first kiss. You’re allowed to wear your heart on your sleeve, be upfront about your feelings, and pursue the person who has captured your attention.

But you have to be self-aware. You cannot allow yourself to be blinded by excitement, by the idea of making this person yours. You have to keep your eyes open. You have to watch out for mixed signals and red flags. You have to know when it’s time to stop obsessing over this person.

It’s good to take initiative. It’s good to go after what you want. But it’s not good to go overboard.

There’s a difference between sending the first text every once in a while and being the only person to start the conversation, continue the conversation, and care about the conversation.

There’s a difference between inviting someone to hang out and begging someone to hang out after they’ve already canceled on you the last three times you set plans.

There’s a difference between pursuing someone who seems like they feel the same way and chasing after someone who clearly has no interest in a real relationship.

When you’re pursuing someone, your effort doesn’t go unnoticed. Your situation doesn’t seem one-sided. Your favors are appreciated. Your feelings are reciprocated. You’re the one who is taking initiative and making most of the moves — but you’re not the only one contributing to the relationship. You’re both on the same page. You both want the same things.

But when you’re full-on chasing someone, hardly any effort is shown on their end. They might send a text early in the morning or like one of your selfies, but that’s about the best they’re going to do.

They never set plans to hang out with you in advance. They never answer your texts right away unless they need something. They never seem to care quite as much as you care.

When you’re pursuing someone, it’s a fun challenge. But when you’re chasing after someone, it usually ends in heartache. You question your worth. You question their intentions. You question your sanity.

You might have sweet, adrenaline-pumping moments with them every once in a while, but most of the time they’re making you miserable. Chasing someone is rarely fun. It rarely ends the way you want.

There’s nothing wrong with taking initiative when it comes to your love life. You should make moves. You should express emotions. You should be true with your heart.

You just have to be careful you don’t cross the line between getting to know a guy who treats you right and pining after a guy who wouldn’t notice if he never heard from you again.

Remember, you can pursue any guy who captures your heart, but you should never chase him. You should never pour your energy into someone who is unable to see your worth. TC mark

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