This is the year that you clear your path so that you can finally see the light on the horizon.
This is the year that you stop playing the same old games that got you stuck in the first place.
This is the year that you start seeing the big picture of your life, the year that you lift your attention away from meaningless distractions and start gazing out at the long road ahead.
If you cannot imagine having it in 2030, maybe it’s not something you’re supposed to have now.
Sure, certain jobs and relationships and cities can be best for us for a season, for a time, and for a period of growth.
However, where most people get trapped is that they never move on from that season, they never pass that time, they never finish growing.
So they remain.
If you do not want to be someone who looks back on the next decade of your life with rage and disappointment and sorrow, the time to act is now.
If you are in a relationship that you cannot imagine being in long-term, you need to seriously ask yourself whether or not you will be okay arriving at the next decade knowing you spend however many years of your life with someone you knew wasn’t your forever.
If you are in a city that you know you are outgrowing, you need to seriously ask yourself if you want to look back in 10 years from now and know that you stayed somewhere you didn’t want to be because you were too afraid to leap, and to risk.
If you are in a job that you took because you panicked and just picked something — a major, a career, an offer — you need to seriously ask yourself if you’re going to be okay knowing you spent so much of your youth wrapped up in work you didn’t want, didn’t like, and never intended to stick with.
Long-term, we create and then re-create parameters of safety. In doing this, we actually deprive ourselves of the experiences that are essential to our growth.
If we once thought a 9-5 was safe, we re-create that experience when we start our own business by imposing rigid hours, taking on work we don’t want to do, and stressing ourselves out to almost the exact degree that we were when we first left.
If we once landed in the place we live because it was a safe haven at the time, we develop a resistance to wanting to leave, because here is what’s secure. What we fail to see is that there is nothing less safe for us than staying somewhere we know we are not meant to be.
If we fell into a relationship because it was easy, because it was right there, we confuse the comfort for compatibility. The signs are there, the tension is tangible. But we are at ease, our lives are built around them. So we stay.
This is precisely how people get stuck in what’s wrong for them.
But you can shake yourself awake by seriously asking: Is this something I imagine for myself long-term? Is this what I want in my life in 10 years from now? Does this lead to where I want to be in a decade? Does this make sense, or am I just attached for some other reason?
Once you really get clear on what you want your future to be, you will find that often, the answers are simpler than you think.
To live in a big city, to live on your own terms, to travel, to be in love, to work in an industry you’re passionate about, to be financially healthy, to be wiser, to have grown.
Often, when our vision for the future is clouded, it’s because the fear of what it would take to arrive there is standing in the way of us actually moving forward.
But when we actually make space in our lives for what we want long-term, what we realize is that the good part of our lives isn’t really something we step into one day, once we’ve earned it, once we’ve waited long enough.
It’s something we choose now, or we choose never.