When You Know They Are Fading

It dawns on you, or you finally admit what you’ve been thinking for a while, while you’re lying in bed that morning, that they’re doing a slow fade — slow enough that you can’t really call them out on it without their calling you overbearing or crazy. It is, honestly, a pretty solid move. You know this because you have done it to others, and so you kick yourself under the comforter for not having figured it out sooner. It somehow seemed less harsh, less reprehensible, more justified when you did it to someone else. Funny how that works, isn’t it? You realize this, too, feel pretty shitty about it and add it to the scroll of things to beat yourself up about now and for the foreseeable future.

You can’t know what this person is thinking, what’s going on in their life. Could be all kinds of things. You have had all kinds of reasons for doing in the past what they’re doing now. None of them particularly justifiable or even adequately defensible, when the alternative to the ethical alternative to the slow fade is one simple text saying you don’t think things are going to work out, but sometimes people go through shit. Sometimes people simply lose interest. Or they meet someone else. Could be any number of things or a combination of them, really.

But you assume they’re hoping you’ll get the hint, that you’ll let them avoid a slightly difficult conversation they don’t want to have.

Part of you is tempted to just let this happen, because you may be better off not knowing how and when you fucked up, if you did indeed fuck up. You’ve always been one to worry about negative feedback.

Sometimes it’s better to not know where you fell short, what they may think is wrong with you, why you’re not compatible and why things simply aren’t going to work out.

Sometimes it’s easier to go your separate ways.

Sometimes it’s actually better to vanish into thin air than to explain oneself.

But still, you won’t let them off easy.

You text, “Will I ever see you again?”

Then you put your phone on “Do Not Disturb,” bust out your weighted blanket and try to rest for a while.

This article was brought to you by PS I Love You. Relationships Now.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *